It is an obvious joke, however the much-maligned Celtic defence resembles four Vampires with the ability to withstand sunlight, such is their phobia of crosses!
Our fragility from the flanks has already cost us dear this season and with Uncle Watties wallopers due to pollute Paradise soon on the back of an impressive run of goal scoring form things may get worse before they improve.
It does seem a bit strange though that the German defender would be the squad member wheeled out to comment on the malaise. True to form however the affable right-back cannot defend himself or his fellow sieve-mates.
Hinkel said: "The whole season has been like this. It's strange. Saturday was a perfect example.
"We controlled the game and were the better team but in the end were a little bit lucky as well. We just can't finish off a team. We always give them a lifeline.
"It looks like every cross is dangerous for us and we have given away goals too easily in the last few weeks.
"The opposition have taken their chances well. They perhaps only had two or three opportunities but have always taken them.
"Hearts last week was one of those games we controlled. We were 1-0 up and still lost. That was a big disappointment.
"We have spoken about this a few times in training. We work a lot on defending cross balls. We have to improve in these situations. We need to clear the ball better, play straight to our strikers and not lose the ball cheaply again.
"It wasn't just the defenders who worked on this in our training session. We had wide players coming in and crossing the ball so we could deal with that situation better."
That is all fine and well Andreas, now how about you start tracking your man to the back post during dead ball deliveries that way we will not lose goals like those we lost against Hearts and Dundee United?
Hinkel did point out that a change of system had helped Hamilton to give a better account of themselves in the second half, however is that all it takes for a lower table team like the Accies to give us a scare at home?
Hinkel said: "We wanted to keep the tempo high but they changed their system a little bit and played some good football in the second half.
"We also lost the ball too simply and failed to finish the game off. At 2-0 the match is over. But in the end we have to be happy because it's still three points.
"We have important games coming up and the vital thing is we didn't drop any more points."
Looking forward Andreas is keen to get through a couple of difficult games, and this must start by taking all three points from the clash with Kilmarnock at Rugby Park.
He said: "It's important we put in a good performance before the Old Firm match although it is a very different game. The dressing room will be different because playing Rangers is so pressurised.
"I would like us going into the Old Firm with a good win behind us just to boost our confidence."
Yours in Celtic
Clydebuilt